Cultural Differences

There are many social rules and many of them aren’t given any thought…when you’re in your own culture! However, it requires a lot of thought, attention and effort when you’re in a new culture. I vividly remember in high school telling a foreign exchange student from Germany that it wasn’t socially acceptable to wear the same clothes two days in a row here in the US. She thought this was so strange and said that people do it all the time in Germany. I remember saying, that’s fine, but you’re in the US and people will think you’re weird if you do that here. That conversation has flashed through my mind so many times in the two months since I’ve been here in Nigeria.

A few social norms that I’ve had to adapt to:
1) When wrapping your wrapper (pronounced “wrappa”) the open side MUST be on the left…I asked why? I like it better on the right…they laughed hysterically and said if I was a woman, I MUST have the open side on the left…okay.
2) When entering a church for any reason a woman must have her head covered and wear a skirt…I asked why? I was told, “Haven’t you ever read that verse in the Bible?”…yeah…I’m trying to build up my scarf collection and still don’t really enjoy that…I wore capris the other day because I had worn them to school (where a student gave me a note with Deuteronomy 22:5 in it…check it out!)…and I survived.
3) You shouldn’t wear a shirt that isn’t the same pattern as your wrapper when you go to church. It’s considered too casual.
4) You don’t invite people over…they stop by to visit and you’re expected to go visit people “greet them” in return. I feel that I’m at a disadvantage considering I know where very few people live and everyone knows where I live!
5) There are no neutral places to meet people at. It is always at someone’s home.
6) Nigerians ALL (and I know that I am using ALL because it applies) comment on people’s weight/size. I have been told by innumerable people that I’m getting fatter or that I was fat in previous pictures. (I’m fully convinced this is because when I first started teaching at JSS I was gaunt. I am now “normal”) I have not gotten used to this. People often ask me to then assess other people’s weight. I have explained many times that I just can’t do this…it’s too weird.
7) When someone invites you to do something, they have to pay. Even in a group of friends. I don’t think this is fair because I still feel like I’m at the mercy of going where people invite me to go because I don’t know enough to initiate but I feel guilty that it means I never pay!
8) You’re not supposed to do laundry on Sunday, but it is acceptable to have a conversation with guys while doing laundry…underwear! They didn’t seem to think it was strange at all.
9) When you’re walking along and see someone you know, you’re supposed to stop and have a full conversation with them. Saying hello and walking past isn’t acceptable. This is fine except when everyone feels like they know you!
10) When riding a motorcycle (which I try to do as infrequently as possible), you don’t hold onto the driver…even though it seems as though it would be the most stable thing to do. I, instead, grip onto the rack behind me and say a prayer.

This is really just the beginning. There are so many “rules” and each one learned has involved a situation or multiple in which I have felt quite awkward! It takes extra energy and effort to simply not make a fool of myself or at least minimize the frequency! However, I feel that I will be much more mindful and seek out people to help once back in the United States as I have been grateful for many kind and patient teachers here.

I uploaded some new pictures...some are a part of old albums and some are in a new one...here are the links:
Mountain Climbing!
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=37892&l=661e1&id=501312909
Cooking and Home Repairs
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=35042&l=d4f33&id=501312909
Colorful Columns Density Lab
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=35471&l=4f4c3&id=501312909